In the world of wealth management, it’s tempting to say “yes” to clients all the time. Building strong relationships often feels tied to approving, supporting and delivering on their requests.
But here’s the truth: Saying “yes” to everything isn’t always in their best interest.
As an advisor, my role isn’t to be the “good news fairy.” I have a responsibility to help clients make the best decisions, even if it means steering them away from choices that could harm their financial future. Sometimes, the most valuable thing I can offer isn’t agreement but expertise—and the willingness to say, “No, let’s look at this from a different angle.”
I often say that I’m an advisor, not a convincer. My job isn’t to push or persuade clients into decisions, but to guide them with the facts, insights and strategies they need to make the best choices for their future.
An estate-planning example
Clients often approach us with a mix of emotions, assumptions and goals. Maybe they want to make a bold investment based on a gut feeling, or gift a large sum to a loved one without considering tax implications. These ideas often come from a place of care or excitement, making them easy to empathize with.
But our job is to step back and assess the bigger picture. Agreeing to everything, no matter how well-intentioned, can lead to unintended consequences.
Take one client I worked with, for example. She wanted to give a significant portion of her wealth to her children all at once. Her motivation was heartfelt—she wanted them to enjoy opportunities she hadn’t had.
But after running through the scenarios, it became clear this approach would trigger major tax implications for her and her children.
Instead of simply saying “yes,” we worked together to find a better strategy. By structuring the gift over several years and using trusts to protect the assets, we reduced the tax burden and ensured her children were financially prepared to manage the wealth. While hesitant at first, she later thanked me for guiding her toward a solution that preserved her wealth and set her family up for success.
Navigating ‘no’
Saying “no” isn’t easy. It’s a delicate balance between respecting a client’s autonomy and providing the guidance they need. Here’s how I approach it:
1. Understand their motivation: Before offering advice, I ask, “Why does this decision feel important to you?” Are they reacting to market trends, dealing with a family dynamic, or fulfilling a personal ambition? Understanding the “why” behind their request helps address the root cause rather than just the surface-level idea.
2. Educate, don’t dictate: No one likes being told what to do—especially when it comes to money. Instead of flatly saying “no,” I use data and scenarios to help clients see the bigger picture. Numbers don’t lie, and they often tell a story that brings clarity.
For instance, try saying:
- “I see why this feels like a good idea, but let’s look at the long-term impact,” or
- “Let’s compare a few options to ensure this aligns with your goals.”
This approach turns the conversation into a collaboration instead of a directive.
3. Offer alternatives: A “no” without a solution can feel like a roadblock. That’s why I always come prepared with alternatives that meet their objectives while avoiding the risks. This reassures clients that I’m not dismissing their ideas but refining them to work better in the long run.
When emotions cloud judgment
Some of the toughest moments in advising come when a client’s emotions cloud their decision-making. Whether their feelings are coming from grief, excitement or stress, they can lead to impulsive actions.
In these cases, empathy is key. Sometimes, I encourage clients to pause, reflect and even consider seeking support from a counselor or therapist. Financial decisions can often wait until they’re in a clearer emotional space to make them.
Building long-term trust
Saying “no” isn’t about shutting down ideas; it’s about being authentic. Clients value honesty and integrity, even if it means hearing advice they didn’t expect. Over time, these candid conversations build deeper trust and strengthen the advisor-client relationship.
As advisors, our ultimate goal is to empower clients to achieve their aspirations while protecting their financial futures. That means navigating difficult conversations and standing firm in our commitment to their long-term well-being.
The ability to say “no” is one of the most important tools in an advisor’s toolkit. It’s how we act as true fiduciaries, putting our clients’ best interests above all else.
By understanding their motivations, educating them about potential outcomes and offering thoughtful alternatives, we can help clients make better decisions. And in doing so, we fulfill our duty—not just as financial advisors, but as trusted partners in their journey.
Elke Rubach is a Certified Financial Planner with CLU and MFA-P designations. Her expertise lies in optimizing income and tax efficiencies, achieving cohesiveness in financial and estate plans, and providing ongoing asset management strategies that foster wealth accumulation and growth. Elke is a reformed lawyer who earned her graduate degree in law, with a focus on banking and finance, at the London School of Economics, where she studied on a Chevening Scholarship. She worked as an associate at the London (U.K.) and Toronto offices of the law firm McCarthy Tetrault. During a stint in banking, Elke observed the life-changing impact of good financial advice and decided to switch to a career in financial planning and wealth management. She founded Toronto-based Rubach Wealth in 2012. Today, Elke is a sought-after speaker on wealth management, estate planning and philanthropy. She’s the founder of Fashion Heals for SickKids, which has raised more than $500,000 for pediatric cancer care and research since 2016. She also gives back with board and volunteer commitments with the Professional Advisory Council for SickKids Foundation, the Investment Committee at the Office of the Public Guardian, the advisory board for Transpod Inc., and the board of Ronald McDonald House Charities in Toronto.
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