In theory, wealth promises freedom—a life filled with endless possibilities, where travel, luxury and ease are the well-earned rewards of hard work. The word “freedom” comes up often when I ask clients what money means to them.
I get that. But here’s something else I’ve observed over the years as I connect with more high- and ultra-high-net-worth individuals: Even as they extol the freedom that comes with wealth, some are also building gilded cages around their lives and donning armour to shield themselves and their families from any harm that might come to them because of that wealth.
With great wealth you can do a lot. But, without thoughtful planning and a solid strategy, that same wealth can introduce unexpected complexities. Instead of simplicity and control, wealth often creates a maze of challenges that complicate life. The freedom once sought can slip away, replaced by feelings of isolation, mistrust and emotional strain.
For many high-performing income earners—whether professionals, entrepreneurs or business owners—the accumulation of wealth often leads to a retreat into protection mode, driven by the fear of exploitation from friends, family and even strangers. I get this, too.
As wealth grows, so does the fear of exploitation. This fear causes some wealthy people to distance themselves from those outside their inner circle. They may become aloof and secretive. Some hire gatekeepers and private security firms to keep away scammers and prying eyes.
In today’s age of cyber-threats, much of this heightened vigilance is, unfortunately, necessary. Yet, as defences rise, these protective measures often lead to unintended emotional and social consequences.
The social cost of wealth
As I said, increased wealth brings the allure of freedom. Yet, paradoxically, wealth can complicate life in ways that breed loneliness and isolation, particularly for first-generation affluent individuals. The shrinking of one’s social circle can leave the wealthy isolated from genuine human connection.
As wealth grows, so does the erosion of trust. Individuals begin to question the motives of those around them, wondering if their interest is genuine or driven by financial status.
Over time, this skepticism can create a barrier to new, meaningful relationships, leading to a constant state of vigilance.
Even within families, relationships can become strained. Concerns about how wealth will affect children—whether they will become entitled or ill-prepared to manage an inheritance—often drive the creation of complex financial structures that deepen misunderstandings within the family.
The paradox of protection
What begins as a protective shield to safeguard against outside threats can quickly evolve into a fortress, isolating individuals from the joy and fulfillment that wealth was intended to bring.
Families may decide to shield their wealth through complex financial structures. Even when there are good intentions behind these structures, they could inadvertently lead to misunderstandings or disputes among family members, especially when it comes to decisions regarding inheritance, succession planning or the involvement of family members in business ventures.
Without realizing it, individuals can find themselves living behind a public persona that does not reflect their true selves, driven by deep social and psychological insecurities that wealth can exacerbate. Because they’re always asking themselves whether a new acquaintance is really interested in them or their wealth, they’re on constant alert to the possibility that someone they’ve just met will ask for money.
As a result, the promise of freedom is replaced by the burden of emotional and social constraints.
Finding a path forward
This is where the value of a professional team becomes critical. Navigating wealth requires more than just strong financial management; it requires a thoughtful, comprehensive approach to preserving not only assets but also relationships, values and emotional well-being. A trusted advisory team can help identify the pitfalls that often destroy fortunes—not just through poor financial planning, but through legal disputes and strained family dynamics.
Building a team that understands both the opportunities and challenges of wealth enables high-income earners to regain control. Whether through philanthropic endeavours, legacy planning or learning how to balance the need for protection with the desire for enjoyment, there is a way forward.
By addressing the complexities of wealth head-on, it is possible to preserve what truly matters: relationships, peace of mind and the ability to live authentically.
Wealth as a source of joy
In the end, wealth should serve its owner, not the other way around. With the right support, it is possible to break free from the isolation and fear that often accompany financial success. By carefully balancing protection with connection, wealth can bring joy and enhance life without constraining it.
For families and business owners, the key is not just accumulating wealth but navigating its complexities with foresight and wisdom. With a strong, trusted team by their side, individuals can chart a path toward greater fulfillment, ensuring that financial success truly delivers on its promise of freedom.
Elke Rubach is a Certified Financial Planner with CLU and MFA-P designations. Her expertise lies in optimizing income and tax efficiencies, achieving cohesiveness in financial and estate plans, and providing ongoing asset management strategies that foster wealth accumulation and growth. Elke is a reformed lawyer who earned her graduate degree in law, with a focus on banking and finance, at the London School of Economics, where she studied on a Chevening Scholarship. She worked as an associate at the London (U.K.) and Toronto offices of the law firm McCarthy Tetrault. During a stint in banking, Elke observed the life-changing impact of good financial advice and decided to switch to a career in financial planning and wealth management. She founded Toronto-based Rubach Wealth in 2012. Today, Elke is a sought-after speaker on wealth management, estate planning and philanthropy. She’s the founder of Fashion Heals for SickKids, which has raised more than $500,000 for pediatric cancer care and research since 2016. She also gives back with board and volunteer commitments with the Professional Advisory Council for SickKids Foundation, the Investment Committee at the Office of the Public Guardian, the advisory board for Transpod Inc., and the board of Ronald McDonald House Charities in Toronto.
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