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Lessons in legacy: Why does the L-word make some people uncomfortable?

Client reactions to discussing legacy are often surprising. Here are some tips for starting a conversation

At some point in my relationship with clients, when it feels like the right time, I’ll drop the L-word on them.

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“So, are you ready to talk about your legacy?” is how I might open up the conversation. The reactions and discussions that follow are often surprising, in some cases even contradictory to what I know about the person in front of me.

One observation I’ve made – and this is in no way intended to stereotype anyone – is that my male clients tend to be more reluctant to go down this path. By comparison, my female clients are usually more open to the discussion but aren’t sure they’ve accumulated enough wealth to create a legacy. Again, I’m not stereotyping or generalizing but merely sharing what I’ve seen in my wealth advisory and family office practice.

Here are other things I’ve observed and learned from clients over the years about this important subject.

It sounds noble, but for some people it’s uncomfortable

The idea of legacy is, in theory, noble and grand. You did something great with your life and now you want to build on that with something that will have a positive and lasting impact on family, friends and society. But planning for legacy also stirs up nostalgia and regrets (yes, we’ve all had a few), and some people are simply uncomfortable with these mushy feelings.

No thanks, I have no intention of dying anytime soon

To think about legacy is to acknowledge your mortality. The thing with successful people is that they’re fighters who have overcome many obstacles to get to where they are today. This feisty mindset often extends to their thinking about death and longevity. Many of my clients work hard at staying fit and healthy. When they encounter a medical issue, they research the hell out of it and advocate vigorously for themselves. Some pay for private, executive care. So why should they think about legacy when their best years are still ahead of them?

For most, legacy exists within a narrow definition

Mention legacy and most people will immediately think about charitable foundations or bequests to a community organization. But these are only a couple of examples of what legacy could look like. Simply put, your legacy embodies what you wish to happen after you’ve stepped away or passed away. For some of my clients, legacy is ensuring the business they built can continue to create wealth for future generations. For others it’s about keeping the cottage, and all the memories it holds, in the family. Legacy can be whatever you want it to be.

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Legacy planning starts with knowing your values

Legacy is highly personal and shaped by individual or family values. But here’s what I’ve learned about values over many years of discussing them with clients: They can be hard to pin down. Most of us know intrinsically the perimeters that define our moral compasses, but when we’re asked to articulate our values we often fumble. For this reason, I like to put my clients through an exercise that encourages them to look deeply into their inner selves and distill their values. Once we figure this out, legacy planning becomes easier.

Successful legacy needs willing participants

For a legacy plan to succeed, those entrusted with its execution must be informed and ready to do their part. If your legacy entails passing the family enterprise to your children, then they need to agree to your plan well in advance so they can prepare for the business succession. If you intend to leave a big monetary gift to your favourite charity but want the money used in a certain way – to fund research into a particular disease, for example – you’ll want to ensure the organization is willing and able to follow through with your wishes. Keep surprises to a minimum by discussing your intentions with all the key players in your legacy plan.

Remember that it’s a plan within a bigger plan

A legacy doesn’t have to have monetary value. Maybe you just want to infuse the kids and grandkids with your tenacity and work ethic, or ensure time-honoured family traditions are kept alive long after you’re gone. But for many wealthy Canadians, legacy is a leave-behind that requires some level of funding. That’s why it’s important to make sure your legacy plan works with all other aspects of your overall financial strategy, including your tax, retirement and estate plans as well as your family’s governance structure.

So, are you ready to talk about your legacy?

Elke Rubach is a Certified Financial Planner with CLU and MFA-P designations. Her expertise lies in optimizing income and tax efficiencies, achieving cohesiveness in financial and estate plans, and providing ongoing asset management strategies that foster wealth accumulation and growth. Elke is a reformed lawyer who earned her graduate degree in law, with a focus on banking and finance, at the London School of Economics, where she studied on a Chevening Scholarship. She worked as an associate at the London (U.K.) and Toronto offices of the law firm McCarthy Tetrault. During a stint in banking, Elke observed the life-changing impact of good financial advice and decided to switch to a career in financial planning and wealth management. She founded Toronto-based Rubach Wealth in 2012. Today, Elke is a sought-after speaker on wealth management, estate planning and philanthropy. She’s the founder of Fashion Heals for SickKids, which has raised more than $500,000 for pediatric cancer care and research since 2016. She also gives back with board and volunteer commitments with the Professional Advisory Council for SickKids Foundation, the Investment Committee at the Office of the Public Guardian, the advisory board for Transpod Inc., and the board of Ronald McDonald House Charities in Toronto.

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Elke Rubach
Elke Rubach

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