Tips for gift giving to valued household helpers this holiday season

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Acknowledging the hard work of household staff is important, especially during the festive season, but deciding how to reward loyal workers can be challenging, depending on the duration and nature of their position.

Decisions around gift-giving or increased compensation for special occasions can be precarious when it comes to members of staff who have been with the family for many years, especially when compared to newer or younger staff.

“Our household is in a constant state of chaos, with my husband and I both working long hours and our three children in school and overloaded with extracurricular activities,” says Jasmine Daya, a lawyer and the managing principal of Jasmine Daya & Co.

“Our house feels more like a home in large part due to dedicated household staff. While we appreciate staff year-round, we often don’t take enough time to show it, which is why it’s of utmost importance during the holiday season to ensure they realize how fortunate we are to have them.”

For those who celebrate Christmas, “Gift giving is a Christmas holiday tradition,” says Josh Josephson, former chief executive officer of Josephson Opticians.

“Most service staff, whether one owns a business or employs housekeeping staff, expect a gift of some kind at this time of the year. My housekeeper is exceptional, as were my office staff, so I have always generously respected that tradition.”

Etiquette expert Julie Blais Comeau is the chief etiquette officer and founder of etiquettejulie.com, which she established in 2011. She advises entrepreneurs, professionals, advisors and high-net-worth individuals.

Sensitive generosity key when giving gifts to staff

“Generally speaking, money is a sensitive topic and in certain cultures it is taboo. Gift amounts are typically reciprocated amongst holiday gift exchangers. In this case, the gifting relationship of employer and employee is not that of equal gift givers.”

Blais Comeau makes recommendations on what factors to take into account when considering gifts to household staff around the holidays.

“Based on your global household staff gift giving and tipping holiday season budget, allocate amounts by considering: the number of years of service, the frequency of the service, your relationship with the person and how he or she enhances your life and your loved ones. Just as in organizations where different positions may receive different bonuses, the same may apply to household staff members that have different expertise and education.”

She suggests one week to one month’s salary seems to be the current custom. “By offering money, you are ensuring that your staff will gift themselves as they wish.”

The personal touch

Blais Comeau also recommends always accompanying monetary gifts with a card that mentions an appreciation for the service provider, along with a small personal gift that can be opened. “If the staff member is for your children or parents, involve [family] in the selection of the gift and the writing of the note.”

She also suggests ways to recognize years of service among staff members, without generating feelings of resentment among staff.

“The years of service are known amongst staff members. The recognition of that person’s contribution to the family is also known by all. It is again important to remember that this is an employer-employee relationship. At work, the employee with more years of service does receive additional benefits and often higher pay. It is then fair that the senior household staff member receives more than the new recruit.”

One option is to give gifts of equal value to staff members of the same responsibilities, along with individual holiday bonuses that consider years of service, she adds. This can be done via an e-transfer or automatic deposit, unseen by others, to avoid feelings of resentment.

“Paid days off is also another well appreciated end-of-year gift option. This alternative can, too, be established on years of service.”

Sometimes, staff members are faced with unexpected difficulties, especially if their family lives far away, and employers may want to help, particularly at this time of year. But discretion is important, Blais Comeau cautions.

“The ‘sticky’ part is usually about how it is presented and what you will say. Offer during a one-on-one conversation. Start with how important that service provider is to you. Add that you want to lessen their worries and help increase their quality of life. State that you are happy to contribute to their well-being as they do to yours and your family’s.”

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