Estate planning is one of the most important steps families can take to ensure their assets, values and legacies are preserved across generations. But what happens if you pass away, and your surviving spouse finds a new partner? In other words, how do you protect your legacy from the Lasagna Ladies?
I coined the term “Lasagna Ladies” as a lighthearted way to take a very real look at what can happen if a woman passes away before her husband and a new, casserole-bearing suitor comes in and suddenly has access to the family estate.
I intentionally framed this risk towards women, although the strategies and advice in this article can apply to anyone. Statistically, men are more likely to remarry after widowhood, while women are often content to remain single. This means that without careful planning, your life’s work—your estate, heirlooms and even family values—can unintentionally shift away from your family and children and into the hands of someone else.
So, what can women—and their families—do to ensure their legacy remains intact? To explore this topic, I recently sat down with Lori Duffy, an estate lawyer at McCarthy Tétrault LLP. Lori outlined six strategies that are both practical and effective to help safeguard your estate:
1. Know what you own and how you own it.
The first step that women should take is to really understand what they own and how they own it. Many clients are surprised to discover assets titled differently than they thought. Beneficiary designations, joint assets and ownership structures should be reviewed carefully and corrected where necessary.
2. Consider trusts.
Trusts, such as family, spousal or alter ego/joint partner trusts (for those over 65), can provide tax efficiency while also ensuring assets ultimately flow to your intended beneficiaries. Naming a second trustee (such as an adult child) can provide oversight and prevent misuse.
3. Be intentional with heirlooms and valuables.
Specific gifts of jewelry, artwork or other family treasures can be protected from being claimed by a new spouse or their heirs. A written record and clear instructions in your will can prevent this.
4. Rethink beneficiary designations.
While it’s common to list your spouse as the beneficiary on registered accounts for tax purposes, in some cases it may be more appropriate to designate your children.
5. Consider gifting during your lifetime.
If your financial position allows, transferring assets to children or grandchildren now—documented with a formal deed of gift—can reduce risk and bring peace of mind.
6. Review and update regularly.
Estate plans should evolve with your life. Review them every few years or after major milestones. Some people use even-numbered anniversaries or birthdays as reminders to ensure documents remain aligned with their intentions.
Importantly, Lori also highlighted a surprising legal issue: the capacity to marry requires a very low threshold, and it may be lower than the capacity to even sign a cheque. This means that someone who may no longer be able to manage their own finances could still legally remarry—a risk that should not be underestimated.
Ultimately, protecting your legacy goes beyond dollars and cents. It’s about ensuring that your life’s work and values carry forward to the next generation, even as life takes unexpected turns. With the right planning tools, trusted advisors and a willingness to have candid conversations, women can safeguard what matters most.
Because while lasagna might be comforting, your legacy should never be left on the table.
Sarah Bull is Managing Partner at KJ Harrison Investors, a Toronto-based private client firm for high-net-worth families.
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