You’re the author of your wealth. Why hasn’t your family heard your story?

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Wealth builders often have epic success stories marked by false starts and rejections – by banks, investors and prospective customers – as well as unexpected opportunities and life-changing partnerships. I hear so many of these stories, usually during the discovery phase of my onboarding process for clients and over our catch-up lunches and dinners.

Yet, as I’ve learned over the years, the protagonists of these wealth origin epics often fail to share their stories with their family.

There are many possible reasons behind this oversight. Maybe they’ve been too busy – wealth building does take up a lot of time, after all – or maybe there are parts of their story they’re too embarrassed to reveal. Who wants to rehash that time when the business was on the brink of bankruptcy and the bank called the loan?

Maybe they think the kids simply won’t be interested in something that happened decades ago. Maybe they prefer to be seen as they are today: the epitome of success, strong and unshakeable.

I think they’re missing a great opportunity that can bring many benefits to their family – and to their legacy.

Inheritors who grow up without knowing the story behind their family’s wealth may not fully appreciate all the years of hard work that went into building that wealth. Consequently they may not understand the wealth builder’s desire to preserve assets well beyond the next generation, and the persistent fear that these assets might get squandered in the distant future.

Ignorance of the family’s history can also lead to a poor understanding of the family’s values, which are often shaped by the years of struggle during wealth building. This is a critical gap in knowledge because family values provide a reliable compass in virtually every piece of the family wealth strategy, from financial and estate planning to developing road maps for philanthropy and legacy.

For next-generation members who are likely to be successors in the family business, not knowing the wealth building history would be like commandeering the ship without the old captain’s maps and logbooks. You can most certainly do it with modern navigation technology, but it sure would be nice to have guidance from one who’s crossed the same ocean many times over.

I know some wealth builders who have chosen to tell their stories by writing their memoir, publishing a commemorative book about their business or hiring someone to create a video.

I also know others who prefer to share bits and pieces of their story over a family meal, or in the course of a summer spent at the cottage.

One father, after being diagnosed with cancer, decided to take a road trip through Ireland and Wales with his grown son and daughter. It was the first time in many years he had spent that kind of time with them. He was never much of a talker, but, sitting in the front passenger seat while his kids took turns driving, he opened up like the vistas that lay ahead.

In the absence of these conversations, the historic and cultural connections that link one generation to the next might easily be severed. That would be quite a loss, especially given the richness of many wealth builders’ stories.

“Once upon a time” – try that as a start.

Elke Rubach is a Certified Financial Planner with CLU and MFA-P designations. Her expertise lies in optimizing income and tax efficiencies, achieving cohesiveness in financial and estate plans, and providing ongoing asset management strategies that foster wealth accumulation and growth. Elke is a reformed lawyer who earned her graduate degree in law, with a focus on banking and finance, at the London School of Economics, where she studied on a Chevening Scholarship. She worked as an associate at the London (U.K.) and Toronto offices of the law firm McCarthy Tetrault. During a stint in banking, Elke observed the life-changing impact of good financial advice and decided to switch to a career in financial planning and wealth management. She founded Toronto-based Rubach Wealth in 2012. Today, Elke is a sought-after speaker on wealth management, estate planning and philanthropy. She’s the founder of Fashion Heals for SickKids, which has raised more than $500,000 for pediatric cancer care and research since 2016. She also gives back with board and volunteer commitments with the Professional Advisory Council for SickKids Foundation, the Investment Committee at the Office of the Public Guardian, the advisory board for Transpod Inc., and the board of Ronald McDonald House Charities in Toronto.

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