Five ways to start a conversation with the family's next generation today

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It’s never easy to decide when and how to start a conversation with the next generation about the family business and its shared assets. A number of things should be taken into consideration.

While it’s advisable to start early, the good news is that no matter where you are, now would be a good time to begin. If you are talking to them already, it is worth reflecting on whether you are communicating as much as you’d like, and in the ways that you want to.

If you are not yet communicating with the next generation, a great place to start is to look at why you want to engage them. Are you looking to give them a sense of what they are part of, prepare them to be good stewards of the family’s assets, prepare them for operational roles, or something else?

Whatever the desired outcome, it helps greatly if you are intentional about your communication (not forcing the situation but bringing awareness to the process). I also recommend that senior family members bring curiosity to their conversations and listen more than they talk. You want the next generation to know they matter to you and the future of your enterprise.

With the above in mind, here are five steps you can take to start a conversation with the next generation today.

1. Talk to them about their dreams, hopes, fears and frustrations.

If you haven’t yet had the opportunity to sit down and really listen to your kids, nieces and nephews or grandchildren without any other goals than to hear what they have to say about where they are hoping to go in life and what they are concerned about, this is a great starting point for a conversation.

We often think we know what members of the next generation think, struggle with and need, but more often than not we are basing that mainly on assumptions.

So ask them and you will not only learn more about them as individuals but also gain valuable insights into how they could be part of stewarding your family’s assets. You can also find out whether they are actually interested.

But don’t forget, just because a family member isn’t interested in joining – or ready for it – at the age of 21 it doesn’t mean they are going to feel the same when they are 30. Injecting some patience into these conversations is usually helpful.

2. Share stories about the business and how you got to where you are today.

Your next generation may not be familiar with the story of your family and business. As a fourth-generation business owner once said to me, “You cannot love what you do not know.” You will benefit greatly from taking the time to share with your children or grandchildren what they are, or will be, part of.

I suggest you set aside specific times for this process. You may also want to share pictures and other items that connect you as a family today to where you came from. Over time, this may include visits to buildings, projects your family has worked on or is involved with, etc., but start small if this is not something you have done before.

3. Be relatable. Share your successes as well as your failures.

Share your journey and your life in the family enterprise/office with them. Let them see you, your values, your successes and your failures.

It will make you more relatable and it will be less scary for them to think about their own involvement in the family office and to see themselves as wealth owners if they know that their seniors have experienced both successes and hardships – and that at times you, too, felt afraid. When we show up as whole people, others relate much faster, and your children are no different.

4. Create spaces where they can ask questions, share ideas and feel heard.

Many young people I have worked with over the years have talked about wanting to learn more about the business and contribute ideas but didn’t know how, as they weren’t part of the enterprise structure.

Money is rarely sufficient as long-term glue. What unites a family for the long term is having a shared sense of purpose.

Elizabeth Bagger

Herein lies a wealth of goodness, and you can tap into it by creating a space where the next generation can bring their questions, suggestions and ideas. It doesn’t mean that every idea has to be implemented, as this wouldn’t be practical, but when people feel heard, they more easily feel part of something and will be willing to contribute again.

5. Talk to them about purpose and values.

Money is rarely sufficient as long-term glue. What unites a family for the long term is having a shared sense of purpose – your “why” for doing what you do together as a family. If you haven’t yet defined your why, engaging the next generation in this conversation can be a transformational journey for all involved.

Talking about what your wealth is for may not only unite you, but it can also be a helpful way to tackle the often sensitive subject of money and how we relate to it.

If you are worried about how your next generation might handle wealth, understanding the good your money is doing in the world and the values that guide your work will make a big difference to their experience and their relationship with money.

Conclusion

Some of these conversation starters may prove to open doors and new opportunities for engagement quickly, and others may be the starting point for a conversation that will carry on for generations to come.

They are all tried and tested by real families I have had the privilege to work with.

Elizabeth Bagger, founder of Avanti Family Business Advisory, helps family businesses strengthen family dynamics, improve family decision making, design and implement governance structures that work and engage the next generation. She is a second-generation member of her family business and serves on its board. She has worked in the field of family business for 15 years, lives between Chicago and Los Cabos, Mexico, and works with families globally. She can be reached at elizabeth@avanti-fba.com by email.

More from Canadian Family Offices:

• Lessons from two successful father-daughter business transitions
• The challenge when you become rich: Stay ‘normal’
• Shareholders-in-waiting need to know things, even if they ruffle family feathers
• Saputo sisters forged their own path

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